life is a maze and love is like a riddle` ♥

Monday, April 23, 2007 { 4/23/2007 03:58:00 AM }

i cant sleep. i only slept for 4 hours. thanks to one friendly mosquito talkin to me.. -_-" im falling sick - flu. anyway im alw been sick. LOL hmph very bored. you know its true tt when a person is down, sick, blaming themselve or troubled, or even normal people, he/she cannot be left alone or stay in one particular place..! they will think of many things. think out of the box. think way beyond u expect. thinking frm positively to negatively.

thats wad i wna say. everybody notice abt it and NEVER leave yr friends or yr family member alone. talk to them, go out with them or can even have a walk with them rather than stayin at one particular spot or place. -_-" understand?!?!

i really dunno what to do. im so lost, confuse and blur now. i really wna know or glance at wad god have plan my life. why is it gettin more complicated day by day, week by weeks, months by months and even years by years. boredem really really kills people..! i have been thinking alot right aft what kevin say to me and aft service. i could felt tt god was talkin to me but the internet was laggin and i got disconnected eventually and couldn get online again. i have to change frm the better frm now on. but change to? how to? what if i go wrong? will anybody be there for me? lots and tons of questions in my mind, heart. i can even type without thinkin. why?! how?! what?! who?! which?! where?! hmph aft what jon tell me, i really think..! mayb i really love him cox i told him tt we can go thru everythin together. we jus have to believe in each other and nv keep any secrets or lies in between us ok alr. is this a good or bad start of my week..? i cant even sleep. i like so awake but not to the extend tt i can go for pe. hahaha xp hope we can go thru this next stage of not meetin each other for a period of time.will we last? can we? hmmmmmmmph.! *thinking. is this next stage for both of us made by god ( natural, real) or jonathan's plan testing me...?!?!?!?!?! really confuse and curious. are we breaking? its not even a month. is it jus me? is wadever kevin tell me true? am i jus being sensitive? im stuck. stuck btw three guys. god.! jonathan.! kevin.? but im lucky two of them is connected to the one and only important guy which i must be with. :] lucky? hahaha haix am i jus fated to be single.? not even suppose to be having any relationship during secondary life? cox all the relationship last a short period of time.. sometimes i also will even think, in the fututre will i even get married.? the only person in the family not married. even fatty get married before i do. haix LOL i know its lame. haha bleh. wondering..?! many things in my head. thats why i say nv leave a person alone if not it will nv be a good ending aft u do tt. at least im lucky i hv three good frens tt i can trust and rely on them but i know i have to be independant no matter what in the future. hmph. going thru challanges that are difficult but i will strive thru my way and still be the cheerful and better character and attitude NICOLETTE..!XD thanks for the support. i have throw everything out here alr. thanks. haha love you..! i <3>